maybe one day, everything will change...for the better

so i know i dont write much...and i should write a lot more than i do....because some things i cant tell anyone..and the only place i think of coming is here to get out there at least..

tired of being let down, left, and feeling like life isnt on my side...i get life is  hard..trust me..but everything constantly goes down hill for me...nothing ever goes right. i lose everyone ive ever loved (friend wise) and its like.."where did i go wrong?" so sick of feeling replaced and upset.  i feel like im always going to break...i act stronger than ever..but really im more fragile than i have been in so long..and i dont wanna go back to that place of being fragile and easily broken...

on a happier note...i am in LOVE with Luke Bryan.. hes amazing...and so sexy and so is chris young...

things arent always what they seem...........

if it wasnt for boys like you....

there wouldnt be songs like this. i love me some carrie underwood and this is how i feel at the moment. this will be my venting blog  :) dont act like you like me and what not, then not talk to me. thats stupid on your part and makes you look like an asshole. oh wait you are one. i am going to look at it though as you just werent right for me... maybe one day ill find someone worth my time.

i started a gym tonight :) yayyy!!! i cant wait to start working out.. TOMORROW. im gonna get goood work outs in from now on. my new years resolution is going to be to lose 15 lbs and get back to my old body, dye my hair back platinum blonde..and get real real tan :) i wanna be sexy from now on.

ive been having these migraines that make me real real nauseas here lately, idk what is going on but i hope they go away soon because i do NOT have time for these haha CHRISTMAS is in 4 days..almost 3 and im super excited. i dont think ive been this excited in a long time about christmas. been trying to get into the christmas spirit, so thursday me and mom are gonna bake christmas cookies,and get the house smelling like christmas time, were going to shelby farms to see starry nights...its 20 bucks a car..but its supposed to be really good. the botanical gardens is supposed to be having something neat too.

thats alllll for now :)

IM BACK!

okayyy so ive been off of this for quite a while now. been so busy with school and work here lately!! and now thats its christmas time im working up to 30+ hours a week!
anyyyyways a lot has happened, but not too much worth updating you on. met a cuteee boy,  but story of my life, i doubt it works out. i just dont have good luck with romance...or anything else for that fact, but i try and make the best of what i do have.  :) i have some pretty great co workers even if i hate my job sometimes! and i have a few good friends and of course the BEST family anyone could ever ask for.


hm lets see... im pretty much obsessed with carrie underwood and jason aldean these days. cant be too sure why but man oh man do i love to sing along with their songs :) haha. Carrie Underwood has a song for every single situation and Jason Aldean just has the perfect songs for anytime!!


My Skyylar baby has been such a good boy here lately, his christmas picture didnt turn out too well, but we are going to get a new one made tuesday night! cant wait. he has grown up so much. Skyylar is pretty much the light of my life and I cant imagine living without him....ever. he is irreplaceable. My Sophie buttons is growing up too, she is becoming pretty mean though...maybe thats the doberman in her. We are training though so hopefully things will start changing soon, because i absolutely love her too!!




Okayyy well, I'm done for now...promise to start blogging again soon, it helps me relieve stress :) haha

what goes around, comes around.

Baby, I thought you knew...you do somebody wrong, its gonna get done to you..and you might think you have a way of playing me for a fool...but its coming right back to you.

thats how i feel today. I havent written in a few days.... ended up in the ER for heart problems and the doctor told me today...NOTHINGS WRONG that i had a lowsy week and it caught up with me.... um no I didnt. apparently im just crazy.  anyways.... PEOPLE listen up. noone likes to be "played" no matter if its friendships, relationships, family, etc.... noone and when you get hurt and decide to come back to the original person. THEY WONT BE THERE. 

I don't need people like that in my life. you cant be my friend one day and hate me the next. sorry thats not how it works. ANY relationship is like a full time job, you have to work at it, or your gonna get burned in the end. anyywayyys.....thats allll today :)

Better to get ahead, than to be left behind.

Okay guys,
I went to Brit Lit this morning and she kept us for about 15 min and canceled class on thursday! She still gave us an assignment though! I have Chemistry Lab at 330...boo. After that I have to get started on my Psychology assignment and hopefully finish that since it's super easy... and get started on my reading for Brit Lit even though it's not due til Tuesday. I want to be done with homework! haha

ALSO! One of my favorite movies came out on DVD today.."THE LAST SONG" . I cannot wait to go buy it! Yes, I do like Miley Cyrus but even if you don't like her, this movie is a MUST see!!!

Sometimes All YOU Need is Change.

Today, my chemistry teacher said something that has not left my mind yet..."Sometimes you have to rotate people out of your life...do whats best for YOUR future...even if it means your best supporters call you selfish."
I guess sometimes being selfish is what it takes in this world. I need to leave some people behind and let other people in because some of the people in my life now bring nothing but negativity and trouble.
I have a little trouble with change sometimes, but it is something that HAS to happen. It's not an option anymore, it's a priority. Why? Because I am not happy with the way things have been/are going.

I always get the bad end of the deal, which means I put everyone else before myself, and yes, sometimes that is okay because it means I care about the people in my life. But at the same time, I deserve the best too.
The only people in my life that I feel are stable, is my family. I know they will always be there for me, but I can't talk to them about everything. I need a trustworthy, good, dependable friend to rely on sometimes too. I have always been an independent girl who doesn't need anyone else to make me happy, but I can feel that changing. I can't be alone all my life. That's not a very good or happy life....in anyones eyes.